I almost forgot. Mad Libs were something the three of us had a whole lot of fun doing while on the trip. I meant to share some of them with you all a long time ago and just kept forgetting. So here you go. Here are some of the funny ones we did that I’d like to share with you. Watch out for the last one. Our minds got crazy and its a little R-rated.

1. Have you filled your car with  beer ?
2. Do you have the reservations for your room at the  sink ?
3. Are you taking your pet  tiger  in the car? If so, do you have plenty of  tiger  Chow for him?
4. Did you remember to pack all of your toilet articles, such as your  ovary  brush and your  foot  paste and your  gross  lotion?
5. Did you bring your tennis balls, your  football  racket, and those  smart  athletic shoes?
6. Have you got a map that shows all of the  grassy  roads and the places that serve  crabs  and have nice, clean  fishy  rooms?
7. Did you remember to bring your  czechoslovakian  traveler’s checks and plenty of money in small  boys ?
8. Did you remember to turn off the  San Francisco  and the  Chris  in the house?
If you answered “ Bonkers !” to these questions, you can leave at once.

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To be read by  Kelly  and  Ian .

Question: Now that you finally signed a  4.876 -year  streaker  with the Miami  testicles , how do you feel?
Answer: As I said to my  sweaty  friend,  Chris , it’s a  tiny  load off my  ring finger .

Question: Are you concerned about being able to replace one of basketball’s super  hair scrunchies ?
Answer: I only hope I can fill his  eyebrows .

Question: You set a record for scoring the most  bikini bottoms  in a single college  nailfile . Do you think you’ll have any trouble  stroking  in the pros?
Answer: My coach says that with my  slippery  speed and my ability to slam- climb  that I should score at least  2   lips  a game. I hope he’s in his right  Michael Jackson .

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Once upon a  pancake , there were three little pigs. The first little pig was very  fluffy , and he built a house for himself out of  spatculas . The second little pig was  hot , and he built a house out of  magnets . But the third little pig was very  crumby , and he built his house out of genuine  cats . Well one day, a mean old wolf came along and saw the houses. “ Damn !” he said. “I’ll  flip  and I’ll  flop  and I’ll blow your house down.” And he blew down the first little pig’s  teapot  and the second little pig’s  rubbers . The two little pigs ran to the third little pig’s house. Thereupon, the wolf began blowing, but he couldn’t blow down the third little pig’s  cupboard  house. So he  jumped  off into the forest, and the three little  doughy  pigs moved to Chicago and went into the sausage business.

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I was home alone and scared out of my  ass cheeks . I could hear the wind  shaking , and off in the distance a  testicle  was howling. I crossed the room, locked the  bra , and climbed into bed, pulling the  nuts  over my  nostril . Then it happened. I could hear a  tamborine   slapping  up the  fu**ed  stairs. My  anus  started to chatter and my knees were  shitting . The  icicle  was thrust open and there was a huge  ball cap  with hair all over his  belly button . It was my father. “Hi, we’re home,” he said  snappily . “Hope you weren’t afraid of staying home alone.” “No,” I said, lying through my  ancles .

Well folks, the trip is officially over. After all the writing and all the typing, there are no more adventures to share with you. For those of you who followed along with us, I hope you enjoyed it. We had a blast on this trip and sharing it with all of you has been fun. Even thought you followed along, keep an eye on R4NT.com as I will be writing up some articles to share. I’m not sure what I’ll do with the site now. I guess I’ll leave it up for a while. Who knows… maybe The Vicarious Crew will brew up something new to share with you in the near future.

Total Miles: 12,400
Total Kilometers: 19,955

Total Number of States Visited: 23

Total Amount for Fuel Purchased: Appx. $1,600.00
Total Amount for Food Purchased: Appx. $1,200.00
Total Amount for Accomodations: Appx. $1,000.00 (includes hotel in Vegas)
Total Amount for Activities (x3 ppl): Appx. $950.00
Total Amount for Extras (ice, firewood, etc.): Appx. $100.00

Total Amount Spent: Appx. $4,850.00

Typical morning, minus Kelly of course. We slacked a little this morning, so we didn’t leave Minot until around 10:00am. Today, we’re hoping, is our last day of driving. As we drove today, the landscape became more and more open with fields. It started to look more and more like Alberta as we went. Large yellow fields of sunflowers passed us by as we drove through Berthold. At exactly 12:00pm, we entered into Montana. Montana would be the 23rd and last state we enter for the trip. To get to Calgary, we’re going to drive 3/4 of the way across it too, to Shelby, where we will turn North for the final time. Entering Montana also means entering into Mountain time, so 12:00pm is now 11:00am for us.

So much driving today. Chris and I drove in two hour intervals as the long, open road can play tricks on the eyes, and with nothing much to look at, getting sleeping is common. At 3:50pm in the afternoon we hit Havre, Montana where the temperature was 37 degrees (or 98 for you Americans). Now we’re talking. Right back into the heat as we were for so long before. The Gatorades were a great addition today. At 5:00pm, we hit the record temp of 38. I’m going to miss the heat during the day. Not at night, but during the day. Also, when we stopped at a rest area for a bathroom break, the same two trucks with RV campers pulled in right behind us. One of the ladies came over and we chatted for a bit. They had spent the night in Bagley and were on their way to Alaska. They said they were passing through Calgary on their way too. Who knows, maybe we’ll see them again.

There have been plenty of birds hanging out on the road today, some of which managed to just miss our zooming vehicle. But about 15 miles east of Shelby, Montana, we got a small surprise when we finally ended up hitting a small bird, smack on the windshield. The poor thing hit with a crack and got stuck under the left windshield wiper, it’s two tiny legs pointing skyward. I turned on the wiper in an attempt to clear it off, but that didn’t help. I ended up stopped just before Shelby to remove the small bird with the ice scraper. Poor thing. A sign that the end is here, I’m sure.

After hitting Shelby and then heading north, we finally came to Sweetgrass, Montana. We stopped into the duty-free shop before crossing to examine the cheap booze, but never ended up getting any as funding is at the all-time low for the trip. We cross the border from Montana into Couttes, Alberta, Canada where we drove off into the western sunset on the final stretch. We passed through Lethbridge where we grabbed some Subway for dinner and at exactly 10:00pm on Saturday, July 29th, we entered back into Calgary. Immediately the thought of the very day we left entered into my mind. The thoughts of when we left the city on our way to Banff, our eyes wide with anticipation, kept going through my head. I couldn’t believe it. It was really over. 59 days on the road, travelling over 12,000 miles through two countries with two great friends, was over. The trip may not have lasted a lifetime, but the memories sure will.

Someday I know I’ll do it again. Someday. But for now, it’s back to reality. Time to find a job. Time to find a place to live. Time to sort through the 1,700 photos Kelly and I took along the way. Time to… remember.

We departed from the Top ‘O The Morn’ Campground at 8:30am this morning. Chris started off the driving and at 9:21am we crossed into Minnesota. We managed to find a deli today, so when we had lunch at 12:45, we were able to have ham sandwiches. At the rest area, two trucks with large RV trailers pulled in and two elderly couples had their lunch as well. At around 1:20pm we stopped for gas and guessed we were just below Manitoba because holy-moly is was damn windy. We lost a plastic bag out the window because of it. Heh.

Being back in the States, we were able to pick up cheap Gatorade again too. We grabbed two 8-packs for $10 today. Smoke’n deal!

Somewhere around 3:00pm we drove through Nelson County, North Dakota. Ohhhh, the memories with Kelly. Not too sure what time we hit North Dakota either. We drove a long way today as we wanted to ensure we got home to Calgary sometime tomorrow. At 6:00pm we passed through Rugby, North Dakota and sometime after that we found Roughrider Campground in Minot, North Dakota where we grabbed a campsite. After dinner, which consisted of roasting hotdogs over the fire (of which I managed to drop mine directly into the fire and when I attempted to “flick” it out, managed to get it covered in sand and ash) we headed to the store where we couldn’t turn down $1.99 pints of ice cream. Ooooh, another reminder of Kelly. I remember when we payed $4.99 for these things along the way. We’ll see how long after the trip my ice cream addiction sticks around.

At some point today, before reaching Minot, we passed through Bagley, North Dakota. Bagley is apparently the direct center of North America. Pretty cool.

After a decent night of rest, Chris and I departed from the Gaylord KOA and headed back out onto the open road. In less than an hour, we came to the Mackinac Bridge in upstate Michigan. It reminded me of the Golden Gate in San Francisco because of it’s size, but it still didn’t fully compare. A cool bridge with a beautiful view none-the-less. After cross the bridge, we started along Interstate #2 along the north shores of Lake Michigan. Interstate #2 is going to take us all the way to Montana, so not much need for the maps anymore. Well, to find campgrounds, but thats it.

At 12:15pm we stopped for lunch on a beach along Lake Michigan. What a nice place. We had apples, cheese, and graham crackers for lunch today. Mmm. After a quick break, we’re back on the road where Chris gets to demonstrate (again) his aggression behind the wheel. We also hit the central time zone today, so at 1:45pm we jumped back an hour to 12:45pm. At around 1:24pm interstate #2 takes a quick jump into Wisconsin, but about ten minutes later, we were back in Michigan.

We drove and drove today. At 4:44pm the temperature jumped from 28 to 32, so we were back into the temperature we had been getting used to. We later grabbed a campsite at Top ‘O The Morn’ Campground in Iron River, Wisconsin. Somewhere along the line we passed into Wisconsin for the second time, but I missed it as I probably had my eyes closed. This campground was also quite nice. We pulled out the ball gloves and tossed the ball around for a bit, then headed to the lake for a swim. Reminded me of swimming back home in Sydenham. No more salt water, but plenty of seaweed and fish. It was great. We had chicken and beans for the second night in a row, then played some Yahtzee. Only two more days to go.